The Cast of Characters

Now it's time to introduce the team: Phil Atkins, Andrew Atkins, Berlin Carroll, and Judy Ringwald. I will interview my other cast mates when the snow clears!

In the mean time, here's a little bit about me. I tend to be a bit reserved so this may be difficult.

The picture is of me and Chauncey. He is my best bud and is already complaining that our late night PB&J have been suspended. He loves bread and gets the crusts - let's just call it a family ritual. I don't know if it says something about my arrested development that I still need a 2:00 a.m. feeding, but that's usually when we break out the Jif and jam.

In a world of amateur dieters, I am a weight loss professional. Here is a (partial) list of diets I have used:

Calorie counting (zzzz)
Weight Watchers (more than 10 times)
Nutra System
Jenny Craig
Physician's Weight Loss
Fen Phen (an amazing drug - I still fantasize about a late night crossing of the Mexican border to buy it. I think the press about it blowing people's aortas was exaggerated.)
Neuropsychology of Weight Control (actually a pretty good one)
South Beach
Tic Tacs and Diet Coke (lots of energy and minty fresh breath)
Duke University Rice Diet
Grapefruit diet
Optifast
Personal training
Eating three Subway subs a day
Beverly Hills diet
Of course, the Atkins diet
Fit for Life
Lacto Vegetarianism
Low fat, high fat, buffalo fat
High Glycemic, Low Glycemic, Moderate Glycemic
Total Solutions
Yadda yadda yadda - there are probably several hundred more

In the process, I have become pretty well informed about nutrition. I read the labels and monitor them carefully - they just rarely make any difference to me. I have been known to convince myself that I need to eat M&Ms because I need the zinc. I can talk myself into anything. And here's the thing about all of those diets: THEY WORK. They all work. I lost weight on every one of them - and then gained it back in about a millisecond.

I am counting on this round to be the one - I don't want to lithe and sinewy, I just want to be able to button my jeans without lying down. As you age, your expectations become more realistic and lower to the path of least waistline resistance.

People who know me know that I am a sucker for a cause, and in this case, the cause is kids and families. We need this money like Chauncey needs his Wonder bread. We looked at the FCFC budget yesterday and we are out of money by summer. If you could hear the stories of these kids and their families, you would know immediately that this is one place we cannot afford to starve.

I wish I could do one of those haunting Save the Children commercials with the kids from our Intersystems committee or the beautiful babies from Help Me Grow. Since that is out of our budget, you'll just have to trust me that this money is used judiciously and for saving children right here at home.